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just the potential to be one…” I was sober again； thinking of it。 There were no Mothers； no surviving
“You have thatpotential？ ” Jared asked stiffly。
I knew the others were listening。 Even Doc had paused in the act of putting his ear to Kyle’s chest。
I didn’t answer his question。 “We’re… a little like your hives of bees； or your ants。 Many； many sexless
members of the family； and then the queen…”
“Queen？” Wes repeated； looking at me with a strange expression。
“Not like that。 But there is only one Mother for every five； ten thousand of my kind。 Sometimes less。
There’s no hard…and…fast rule。”
“How many drones？” Wes wondered。
“Oh； no—there aren’t drones。 No； I told you； it’s simpler than that。”
They waited for me to explain。 I swallowed。 I shouldn’t have brought this up。 I didn’t want to talk about
it anymore。 Was it really such a big thing to have Jared call me “it”？
They still waited。 I frowned； but then I spoke。 I’d started this。 “The Mothers… divide。 Every… cell； I
guess you could call it； though our structure isn’t the same as yours； bees a new soul。 Each new soul
has a little of the Mother’s memory； a piece of her that remains。”
“How many cells？” Doc asked； curious。 “How many young？”
I shrugged。 “A million or so。”
The eyes that I could see widened； looked a little wilder。 I tried not to feel hurt when Wes cringed away
from me。
Doc whistled under his breath。 He was the only one who was still interested in continuing。 Aaron and
Andy had wary； disturbed expressions on their faces。 They’d never heard me teach before。 Never heard
me speak so much。
“When does that happen？ Is there a catalyst？” Doc asked。
“It’s a choice。 A voluntary choice；” I told him。 “It’s the only way we ever willingly choose to die。 A
trade； for a new generation。”
“You could choose now； to divide all your cells； just like that？”
“Not quite just like that； but yes。”
“Is it plicated？”
“The decision is。 The process is… painful。”
“Painful？”
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？
Men。Mel snorted。
“Excruciating；” I told him。 “We all remember how it was for our Mothers。”
Doc was stroking his chin； entranced。 “I wonder what the evolutionary track would be… to produce a
hive society with suiciding queens。…” He was lost on another plane of thought。
“Altruism；” Wes murmured。
“Hmm；” Doc said。 “Yes； that。”
I closed my eyes； wishing my mouth had stayed closed。 I felt dizzy。 Was I just tired or was it my head
wound？
“Oh；” Doc muttered。 “You’ve slept even less than I have； haven’t you； Wanda？ We should let you get
some rest。”
“’M fine；” I mumbled； but I didn’t open my eyes。
“That’s just great；” someone said under his breath。 “We’ve got a bloodyqueen mother alien living with
us。 She could blow into a million new buggers at any moment。”
“Shh。”
“They couldn’t hurt you；” I told whoever it was； not opening my eyes。 “Without host bodies； they would
die quickly。” I winced； imagining the unimaginable grief。 A million tiny； helpless souls； tiny silver babies；
withering…
No one answered me； but I could feel their relief in the air。
I was so tired。 I didn’t care that Kyle was three feet from me。 I didn’t care that two of the men in the
room would side with Kyle if he came around。 I didn’t care about anything but sleep。
Of course； that was when Walter woke up。
“Uuuh；” he groaned； just a whisper。 “Gladdie？”
With a groan of my own； I rolled toward him。 The pain in my leg made me wince； but I couldn’t twist my
torso。 I reached out to him； found his hand。
“Here；” I whispered。
“Ahh；” Walter sighed in relief。
Doc hushed the men who began to protest。 “Wanda’s given up sleep and peace to help him through the
pain。 Her hands are bruised from holding his。 What have you done for him？”
Walter groaned again。 The sound began low and guttural but turned quickly to a high…pitched whimper。
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”
“All of us？”
“Get out；” Jeb translated。
The only answer was a shuffling of feet as they left。
“Wanda；” Doc whispered； close beside my ear。 “He’s in pain。 I can’t let him e all the way around。”
I tried to breathe evenly。 “It’s better if he doesn’t know me。 It’s better if he thinks Gladdie is here。”
I pulled my eyes open。 Jeb was beside Walter； whose face still looked as if he slept。
“Bye； Walt；” Jeb said。 “See you on the other side。”
He stepped back。
“You’re a good man。 You’ll be missed；” Jared murmured。
Doc was fumbling in the package of morphine again。 The paper crackled。
“Gladdie？” Walt sobbed。 “It hurts。”
“Shhh。 It won’t hurt much longer。 Doc will make it stop。”
“Gladdie？”
“Yes？”
“I love you； Gladdie。 I’ve loved you my whole life long。”
“I know； Walter。 I—I love you； too。 You know how I love you。”
Walter sighed。
I closed my eyes when Doc leaned over Walter with the syringe。
“Sleep well； friend；” Doc murmured。
Walter’s fingers relaxed； loosened。 I held on to them—I was the one clinging now。
The minutes passed； and all was quiet except my breathing。 It was hitching and breaking； tending toward
quiet sobs。
Someone patted my shoulder。 “He’s gone； Wanda；” Doc said； his voice thick。 “He’s out of pain。”
He pulled my hand free and rolled me carefully out of my awkward position into one that was less
agonizing。 But only slightly so。 Now that I knew Walter wouldn’t be disturbed； the sobs were not so
quiet。 I clutched at my side； where it throbbed。
eyes； but I couldn’t do it。
Something stung my arm。 I didn’t remember having hurt my arm。 And in such a strange place； just inside
my elbow…
Morphine；Melanie whispered。
We were already drifting now。 I tried to be alarmed； but I couldn’t be。 I was too far gone。
No one said goodbye；I thought dully。 I couldn’t expect Jared… but Jeb… Doc… Ian wasn’t here…
No one’s dying；she promised me。Just sleeping this time…
When I woke； the ceiling above me was dim； starlit。 Nighttime。 There were so many stars。 I wondered
where I was。 There were no black obstructions； no pieces of ceiling in my view。 Just stars and stars and
stars…
Wind fanned my face。 It smelled like… dust and… something I couldn’t put my finger on。 An absence。
The musty smell was gone。 No sulfur； and it was so dry。
“Wanda？” someone whispered； touching my good cheek。
My eyes found Ian’s face； white in the starlight； leaning over me。 His hand on my skin was cooler than
the breeze； but the air was so dry it wasn’t unfortable。 Where was I？
“Wanda？ Are you awake？ They won’t wait any longer。”
I whispered because he did。 “What？”
“They’re starting already。 I knew you would want to be here。”
“She in’ around？” Jeb’s voice asked。
“What’s starting？” I asked。
“Walter’s funeral。”
I tried to sit up； but my body was all rubbery。 Ian’s hand moved to my forehead； holding me down。
I twisted my head und