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would never know。 For the broken child on the table。
I had never had to mourn on the Origin。 I didn’t know how it was done there； in the truest home of my
kind。 So I settled for the way of the Bats。 It seemed appropriate； here where it was as black as being
blind。 The Bats mourned with silence—not singing for weeks on end until the pain of the nothingness left
behind by the lack of music was worse than the pain of losing a soul。 I’d known loss there。 A friend；
killed in a freak accident； a falling tree in the night； found too late to save him from the crushed body of
his host。 Spiraling… Upward… Harmony； those were the words that would have held his name in this
language。 Not exact； but close enough。 There had been no horror in his death； only grief。 An accident。
The bubbling stream was too discordant to remind me of our songs。 I could grieve beside its
harmony…free clatter。
I wrapped my arms tightly around my shoulders and mourned for the child and the other soul who had
died with it。 My siblings。 My family。 If I had found a way free of this place； if I had warned the Seekers；
their remains would not be so casually mangled and mixed together in that blood…steeped room。
I wanted to cry； to keen in misery。 But that was the human way。 So I locked my lips and hunched in the
darkness； holding the pain inside。
My silence； my mourning； was stolen from me。
It took them a few hours。 I heard them looking； heard their voices echo and warp in the long tubes of
air。 They were calling for me； expecting an answer。 When they received no answer； they brought lights。
Not the dim blue lanterns that might never have revealed my hiding place here； buried under all this
blackness； but the sharp yellow lances of flashlights。 They swept back and forth； pendulums of light。 Even
with the flashlights； they didn’t find me until the third search of the room。 Why couldn’t they leave me
alone？
When the flashlight’s beam finally disinterred me； there was a gasp of relief。
“I found her！ Tell the others to get back inside！ She’s in here after all！”
I knew the voice； but I didn’t put a name to it。 Just another monster。
“Wanda？ Wanda？ Are you all right？”
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。
“Where’s Ian？”
“Should we get Jamie； do you think？”
“He shouldn’t be on that leg。”
Jamie。 I shuddered at his name。 My Jamie。 He was a monster； too。 He was just like the rest of them。 My
Jamie。 It was a physical pain to think of him。
“Where is she？”
“Over here； Jared。 She’s not… responding。”
“We didn’t touch her。”
“Here； give me the light；” Jared said。 “Now； the rest of you； get out of here。 Emergency over。 Give her
some air； okay？”
There was a shuffling noise that didn’t travel far。
“Seriously； people。 You’re not helping。 Leave。 All the way out。”
The shuffling was slow at first； but then became more productive。 I could hear many footsteps fading
away in the room and then disappearing out of it。
Jared waited until it was silent again。
“Okay； Wanda； it’s just you and me。”
He waited for some kind of answer。
“Look； I guess that must have been pretty… bad。 We never wanted you to see that。 I’m sorry。”
Sorry？ Geoffrey’d said it was Jared’s idea。 He wanted to cut me out； slice me into little pieces； fling my
blood on the wall。 He’d slowly mangle a million of me if he could find a way to keep his favorite monster
alive with him。 Slash us all to slivers。
He was quiet for a long time； still waiting for me to react。
“You look like you want to be alone。 That’s okay。 I can keep them away； if that’s what you want。”
I didn’t move。
Something touched my shoulder。 I cringed away from it； into the sharp stones。
“Sorry；” he muttered。
I heard him stand； and the light—red behind my closed eyes—began to fade as he walked away。
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。
“Where is she？”
“She wants to be alone。 Let her be。”
“Don’t get in my way again； Howe。”
“Do you think she wants fort from you？ From a human？”
“I wasn’t party to this —”
Jared answered in a lower voice； but I could still hear the echoes。 “Notthis time。 You’re one of us； Ian。
Her enemy。 Did you hear what she said in there？ She was screamingmonsters。 That’s how she sees us
now。 She doesn’t want your fort。”
“Give me the light。”
They didn’t speak again。 A minute passed； and I heard one set of slow footsteps moving around the
edge of the room。 Eventually； the light swept across me； turning my lids red again。
I huddled myself more tightly together； expecting him to touch me。
There was a quiet sigh； and then the sound of him sitting on the stone； not as close beside me as I would
have expected。
With a click； the light disappeared。
I waited in the silence for a long time for him to speak； but he was just as silent as I was。
Finally； I stopped waiting and returned to my mourning。 Ian did not interrupt。 I sat in the blackness of the
big hole in the ground and grieved for lost souls with a human at my side。
CHAPTER 41
Vanished
Ian sat with me for three days in the darkness。
He left for only a few short minutes at a time； to get us food and water。 At first； Ian ate； though I did not。
Then； as he realized that it wasn’t a loss of appetite that left my tray full； he stopped eating； too。
I used his brief absences to deal with the physical needs that I could not ignore； thankful for the
proximity of the odorous stream。 As my fast lengthened； those needs vanished。
I couldn’t keep from sleeping； but I did not make myself fortable。 The first day； I woke to find my
head and shoulders cradled on his lap。 I recoiled from him； shuddering so violently that he did not repeat
the gesture。 After that； I slumped against the stones where I was； and when I woke； I would curl back up
into my silent ball at once。
“Please；” Ian whispered on the third day—at least I thought it was the third day； there was no way to be
again。”
He would never stop them。 He was just one among many。 And； as Jared had said； he’d had no
objections before。 I was the enemy。 Even in the most passionate； humankind’s limited scope of
mercy was reserved for their own。
I knew Doc could never intentionally inflict pain on another person。 I doubted he would even be capable
of watching such a thing； tender as his feelings were。 But a worm； a centipede？ Why would he care about
the agony of a strange alien creature？ Why would it bother him to murder a baby—slowly； slicing it apart
piece by piece—if it had no human mouth to scream with？
“I should have told you；” Ian whispered。
Would it have mattered if I’d simply been told rather than having seen the tortured remains for myself？
Would the pain be less strong？
“Please eat。”
The silence returned。 We sat in it for a while； maybe another hour。
Ian got up and walked quietly away。
I could make no sense of my emotions。 In that moment； I hated the body I was b