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She glowered at me。
I was packing my rental car with the few things I planned to take with me。 I had enough clothes to go a
week between washing； and the basic hygiene necessities。 Though I wasn’t bringing much； I was leaving
even less behind。 I’d accumulated very little in the way of personal belongings。 After all these months in
my small apartment； the walls were still bare； the shelves empty。 Perhaps I’d never meant to settle here。
I had another choice； too。 I could abandon this entire world as a failure and move on to a tenth planet。 I
could work to forget this whole experience。 Earth could be just a short blip in my otherwise spotless
record。
But where would I go？ A planet I’d already experienced？ The Singing World had been one of my
favorites； but to give up sight for blindness？ The Planet of the Flowers was lovely。… Yet
chlorophyll…based life…forms had so little range of emotion。 It would feel unbearably slow after the tempo
of this human place。
A new planet？ Therewas a recent acquisition—here on Earth； they were calling the new hosts Dolphins
for lack of a better parison； though they resembled dragonflies more than marine mammals。 A highly
developed species； and certainly mobile； but after my long stay with the See Weeds； the thought of
another water planet was repugnant to me。
No； there was still so much tothis planet that I hadn’t experienced。 Nowhere else in the known universe
called to me as strongly as this shady little green yard on this quiet street。 Or held the lure of the empty
desert sky； which I’d seen only in Melanie’s memories。
Melanie did not share her opinion on my options。 She had been very quiet since my decision to find
Fords Deep Waters； my first Healer。 I wasn’t sure what the detachment meant。 Was she trying to seem
less dangerous； less of a burden？ Was she preparing herself for the invasion of the Seeker？ For death？
Or was she preparing to fight me？ To try to take over？
Whatever her plan； she kept herself distant。 She was just a faint； watchful presence in the back of my
head。
I made my last trip inside； searching for anything forgotten。 The apartment looked empty。 There were
only the basic furnishings that had been left by the last tenant。 The same plates were still in the cupboards；
the pillows on the bed； the lamps on the tables； if I didn’t e back； there would be little for the next
tenant to clear out。
The phone rang as I was stepping out the door； and I turned back to get it； but I was too late。 I’d
already set the message system to answer on the first ring。 I knew what the caller would hear： my vague
explanation that I would be out the rest of the semester； and that my classes would be canceled until a
replacement could be found。 No reason given。 I looked at the clock on top of the television。 It was
barely past eight in the morning。 I was sure it must be Curt on the phone； having just received the only
slightly more detailed e…mail I’d sent him late last night。 I felt guilty about not finishing out my mitment
to him； almost like I was already skipping。 Perhaps this step； this quitting； was the prelude to my next
decision； my greater shame。 The thought was unfortable。 It made me unwilling to listen to whatever
the message said； though I wasn’t in any real hurry to leave。
I looked around the empty apartment one more time。 There was no sense of leaving anything behind me；
I’d never had a host that was capable of superstition。 It was an interesting sensation。 Like knowing you
were being watched without being able to find the watcher。 It raised goose bumps on the nape of my
neck。
I shut the door firmly behind me but did not touch the obsolete locks。 No one would disturb this place
until I returned or it was given to someone new。
Without looking at the Seeker； I climbed into the car。 I hadn’t done much driving； and neither had
Melanie； so this made me a bit nervous。 But I was sure I would get used to it soon enough。
“I’ll be waiting for you in Tucson；” the Seeker said； leaning in the open passenger…side window as I
started the engine。
“I have no doubt of that；” I muttered。
I found the controls on the door panel。 Trying to hide a smile； I hit the button to raise the glass and
watched her jump back。
“Maybe… ；” she said； raising her voice to almost a shout so that I could hear her over the engine noise
and through the closed window； “maybe I’ll try it your way。 Maybe I’ll see you on the road。”
She smiled and shrugged。
She was just saying it to upset me。 I tried not to let her see that she had。 I focused my eyes on the road
ahead and pulled carefully away from the curb。
It was easy enough to find the freeway and then follow the signs out of San Diego。 Soon there were no
signs to follow； no wrong turns to take。 In eight hours I would be in Tucson。 It wasn’t long enough。
Perhaps I would stay a night in some small town along the way。 If I could be sure that the Seeker would
be ahead； waiting impatiently； rather than following behind； a stop would be a nice delay。
I found myself looking in the rearview mirror often； searching for a sign of pursuit。 I was driving slower
than anyone else； unwilling to reach my destination； and the other cars passed me without pause。 There
were no faces I recognized as they moved ahead。 I shouldn’t have let the Seeker’s taunt bother me； she
clearly didn’t have the temperament to go anywhere slowly。 Still… I continued to watch for her。
I’d been west to the ocean； north and south up and down the pretty California coastline； but I’d never
been east for any distance at all。 Civilization fell behind me quickly； and I was soon surrounded by the
blank hills and rocks that were the precursors to the empty desert wastelands。
It was very relaxing to be away from civilization； and this bothered me。 I should not have found the
loneliness so weling。 Souls were sociable。 We lived and worked and grew together in harmony。 We
were all the same： peaceful； friendly； honest。 Why should I feel better away from my kind？ Was it
Melanie who made me this way？
I searched for her but found her remote； dreaming in the back of my head。
The miles passed quickly。 The dark； rough rocks and the dusty plains covered in scrub flew by with
monotonous uniformity。 I realized I was driving faster than I’d meant to。 There wasn’t anything to keep
my mind occupied here； so I found it hard to linger。 Absently； I wondered why the desert was so much
more colorful in Melanie’s memories； so much more pelling。 I let my mind coast with hers； trying to
see what it was that was special about this vacant place。
But she wasn’t seeing the sparse； dead land surrounding us。 She was dreaming of another desert；
canyoned and red； a magical place。 She didn’t try to keep me out。 In fact； she seemed almost unaware of
my presence。 I questioned again what her detachment meant。 I sensed no thought of attack。 It felt more
like a preparation for the end。
She was living in a happier place in her memory； as if she were saying goodbye。 It was a place she had
never allowed