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interrupted by a sudden spur that swung a thin； long finger out against the sky。
She was all for turning immediately into the brush； no matter what that did to the car。
Maybe we’re supposed to go all the way to the first landmark；I pointed out。 The little dirt road
continued to wind in more or less the right direction； and I was terrified to leave it。 How else would I find
my way back to civilization？ Wasn’t I going back？
I imagined the Seeker right at this moment； as the sun touched the dark； zigzagging line of the western
horizon。 What would she think when I didn’t arrive in Tucson？ A spasm of glee made me laugh out loud。
Melanie also enjoyed the picture of the Seeker’s furious irritation。 How long would it take her to go back
to San Diego to see if this had all been a ploy to get rid of her？ And then what steps would she take
when I wasn’t there？ When I wasn’t anywhere？
I just couldn’t picture very clearly whereI would be at that point。
Look； a dry wash。 It’s wide enough for the car—let’s follow it；Melanie insisted。
I’m not sure we’re supposed to go that way yet。
It will be dark soon and we’ll have to stop。 You’re wasting time！She was silently shouting in her
frustration。
Or saving time； if I’m right。 Besides； it’smytime； isn’t it？
She didn’t answer in words。 She seemed to stretch inside my mind； reaching back toward the
convenient wash。
I’m the one doing this； so I’m doing it my way。
Melanie fumed wordlessly in response。
Why don’t you show me the rest of the lines？I suggested。We could see if anything is visible before
night falls。
No；she snapped。I’ll do that part myway。
You’re being childish。
Again she refused to answer。 I continued toward the four sharp peaks； and she sulked。
Have you lost your mind？Melanie hissed。Do you have any idea how visible headlights would be
out here？ Someone is sure to see us。
So what do we do now？
Hope the seat reclines。
I let the engine idle as I tried to think of options besides sleeping in the car； surrounded by the black
emptiness of the desert night。 Melanie waited patiently； knowing I would find none。
This is crazy； you know；I told her； throwing the car into park and twisting the keys out of the ignition。
The whole thing。 There can’t really be anyone out here。 We won’t find anything。 And we’re going
to get hopelessly lost trying。 I had an abstract sense of the physical danger in what we were
planning—wandering out into the heat with no backup plan； no way to return。 I knew Melanie
understood the danger far more clearly； but she held the specifics back。
She didn’t respond to my accusations。 None of these problems bothered her。 I could see that she’d
rather wander alone in the desert for the rest of her life than go back to the life I’d had before。 Even
without the threat of the Seeker； this was preferable to her。
I leaned the seat back as far as it would go。 It wasn’t close to far enough for fort。 I doubted that I
would be able to sleep； but there were so many things I wasn’t allowing myself to think about that my
mind was vacant and uninteresting。 Melanie was silent； too。
I closed my eyes； finding little difference between my lids and the moonless night； and drifted into
unconsciousness with unexpected ease。
CHAPTER 11
Dehydrated
Okay！ You were right； you were right！” I said the words out loud。 There was no one around to hear me。
Melanie wasn’tsaying “I told you so。” Not in so many words。 But I could feel the accusation in her
silence。
I was still unwilling to leave the car； though it was useless to me now。 When the gas ran out； I had let it
roll forward with the remaining momentum until it took a nosedive into a shallow gorge—a thick rivulet
cut by the last big rain。 Now I stared out the windshield at the vast； vacant plain and felt my stomach
twist with panic。
We have to move； Wanderer。 It’s only going to get hotter。
If I hadn’t wasted more than a quarter of a tank of gas stubbornly pushing on to the very base of the
second landmark—only to find that the third milestone was no longer visible from that vantage and to
have to turn around and backtrack—we would have been so much farther down this sandy wash； so
much closer to our next goal。 Thanks to me； we were going to have to travel on foot now。
C’mon； c’mon； c’mon；she chanted until I lurched； stiff and awkward； out of the car。 My back throbbed
as I straightened up。 It hurt from sleeping so contorted last night； not from the weight of the pack； the
pack wasn’t that heavy when I used my shoulders to lift it。
Now cover the car；she instructed； picturing me ripping thorny branches from the nearby creosotes and
palo verdes and draping them over the silver top of the car。
“Why？”
Her tone implied that I was quite stupid for not understanding。So no one finds us。
But what if I want to be found？ What if there’s nothing out here but heat and dirt？ We have no
way to get home！
Home？she questioned； throwing cheerless images at me： the vacant apartment in San Diego； the
Seeker’s most obnoxious expression； the dot that marked Tucson on the map… a brief； happier flash of
the red canyon that slipped in by accident。Where would that be？
I turned my back on the car； ignoring her advice。 I was in too far already。 I wasn’t going to give up all
hope of return。 Maybe someone would find the car and then find me。 I could easily and honestly explain
what I was doing here to any rescuer： I was lost。 I’d lost my way… lost my control… lost my mind。
I followed the wash at first； letting my body fall into its natural long…strided rhythm。 It wasn’t the way I
walked on the sidewalks to and from the university—it wasn’tmy walk at all。 But it fit the rugged terrain
here and moved me smoothly forward with a speed that surprised me until I got used to it。
“What if I hadn’t e this way？” I wondered as I walked farther into the desert waste。 “What if Healer
Fords were still in Chicago？ What if my path hadn’t taken us so close to them？”
It was that urgency； that lure—the thought that Jared and Jamie might beright here； somewhere in this
empty place—that had made it impossible to resist this senseless plan。
I’m not sure；Melanie admitted。I think I might still have tried； but I was afraid while the other souls
were near。 I’m still afraid。 Trusting you could kill them both。
We flinched together at the thought。
But being here； so close… It seemed like Ihadto try。 Please —and suddenly she was pleading with
me； begging me； no trace of resentment in her thoughts—please don’t use this to hurt them。 Please。
“I don’t want to。… I don’t know if Ican hurt them。 I’d rather…”
What？ Die myself？ Than give a few stray humans up to the Seekers？
Again we flinched at the thought； but my revulsion at the idea forted her。 And it frightened me more
than it soothed her。
I didn’t like leaving the wash； just as I’d resisted leaving the car。 I could follow this wash all the way
back to the road； and the road back to the highway。 It was miles and