按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
I’d smelled； the taste was mild。 The green chunks were soft and spongy。 I drank it straight from the bowl
and wished the bowl were deeper。 I tipped it back to make sure I’d gotten every drop。
The white vegetables were crunchy in texture； woody in taste。 Some kind of root。 They weren’t as
satisfying as the soup or as tasty as the bread； but I was grateful for their bulk。 I wasn’t full—not
close—and I probably would have started on the tray next if I thought I’d be able to chew through it。
It didn’t occur to me until I was finished that they shouldn’t be feeding me。 Not unless Jared had lost the
confrontation with the doctor。 Though why would Jared be my guard if that were the case？
I slid the tray away when it was empty； cringing at the noise it made。 I stayed pressed against the back
wall of my bubble as Jared reached in to retrieve it。 This time he didn’t look at me。
I can’t believe he hit me；Melanie mused； her thought incredulous rather than resentful。 She was not
over the surprise of it yet。 I hadn’t been surprised in the first place。 Of course he had hit me。
I wondered where you were；I answered。It would be poor manners to get me into this mess and
then abandon me。
She ignored my sour tone。I wouldn’t have thought he’d be able to do it； no matter what。 I don’t
think I could hit him。
Sure you could。 If he’d e at you with reflective eyes； you’d have done the same。 You’re
naturally violent。I remembered her daydreams of strangling the Seeker。 That seemed like months ago；
though I knew it was only days。 It would make sense if it had been longer。 It ought to take time to get
oneself stuck in such a disastrous mire as the one I was in now。
Melanie tried to consider it impartially。I don’t thinkso。 Not Jared… and Jamie； there’s no way I could
hurt Jamie； even if he was… She trailed off； hating that line of thought。
I considered this and found it true。 Even if the child had bee something or someone else； neither she
nor I could ever raise a hand to him。
That’s different。 You’re like… a mother。 Mothers are irrational here。 Too many emotions
involved。
Motherhood is always emotional—even for you souls。
I didn’t answer that。
What do you think is going to happen now？
You’re the expert on humans；I reminded her。It’s probably not a good thing that they’re giving me
food。 I can think of only one reason they’d want me strong。
The few specifics I remembered of historical human brutalities tangled in my head with the stories in the
old newspaper we’d read the other day。 Fire—that was a bad one。 Melanie had burned all the
fingerprints off her right hand once in a stupid accident； grabbing a pan she hadn’t realized was hot。 I
remembered how the pain had shocked her—it was so unexpectedly sharp and demanding。
It was just an accident； though。 Quickly treated with ice； salves； medicine。 No one had done it on
purpose； continued on from the first sickening pain； drawing it out longer and longer…
I’d never lived on a planet where such atrocities could happen； even before the souls came。 This place
was truly the highest and the lowest of all worlds—the most beautiful senses； the most exquisite
emotions… the most malevolent desires； the darkest deeds。 Perhaps it was meant to be so。 Perhaps
without the lows； the highs could not be reached。 Were the souls the exception to that rule？ Could they
have the light without the darkness of this world？
I… felt something when he hit you；Melanie interrupted。 The words came slowly； one by one； as if she
I felt something； too。It was amazing how natural it was to use sarcasm now； after spending so much
time with Melanie。He’s got quite a backhand； doesn’t he？
That’s not what I meant。 I mean…She hesitated for a long moment； and then the rest of the words
came in a rush。I thought it was all me—the way we feel about him。 I thought I was… in control of
that。
The thoughts behind her words were clearer than the words themselves。
You thought you were able to bring me here becauseyouwanted it so much。 That you were
controlling me instead of the other way around。 I tried not to be annoyed。You thought you were
manipulating me。
Yes。The chagrin in her tone was not because I was upset； but because she did not like being wrong。
But…
I waited。
It came in a rush once more。You’re in love with him； too； separately from me。 It feels different from
the way I feel。 Other。 I didn’t see that until he was there with us； until you saw him for the first
time。 How did that happen？ How does a three…inch…long worm fall in love with a human being？
Worm？
Sorry。 I guess you sort of have… limbs。
Not really。 They’re more like antennae。 And I’m quite a bit longer than three inches when they’re
extended。
My point is； he’s not your species。
My body is human；I told her。While I’m attached to it； I’m human； too。 And the way you see Jared
in your memories… Well； it’s all your fault。
She considered that for a moment。 She didn’t like it much。
So if you had gone to Tucson and gotten a new body； you wouldn’t love him anymore now？
I really； really hope that’s true。
Neither of us was happy with my answer。 I leaned my head against the top of my knees。 Melanie
changed the subject。
At least Jamie is safe。 I knew Jared would take care of him。 If I had to leave him； I couldn’t have
left him in better hands。… I wish I could see him。
I’m not asking that！I cringed at the thought of the responsethat request would receive。
At the same time； I yearned to see the boy’s face for myself。 I wanted to be sure that he was really here；
Do you think they will tell him that I’m here？Melanie asked。
Would that help or hurt him？I asked back。
Her thought was a whisper。I don’t know。… I wish I could tell him that I kept my promise。
You certainly did。I shook my head； amazed。No one can say that you didn’t e back； just like
always。
Thanks for that。Her voice was faint。 I couldn’t tell if she meant for my words now； or if she meant the
bigger picture； bringing her here。
I was suddenly exhausted； and I could feel that she was； too。 Now that my stomach had settled a bit and
felt almost halfway full； the rest of my pains were not sharp enough to keep me awake。 I hesitated before
moving； afraid to make any noise； but my body wanted to uncurl and stretch out。 I did so as silently as I
could； trying to find a piece of the bubble long enough for me。 Finally； I had to stick my feet almost out
the round opening。 I didn’t like doing it； worried that Jared would hear the movement close to him and
think I was trying to escape； but he didn’t react in any way。 I pillowed the good side of my face against
my arm； tried to ignore the way the curve of the floor cramped my spine； and closed my eyes。
I think I slept； but if I did； it wasn’t deeply。 The sound of footsteps was still very far away when I came
fully awake。
This time I opened my eyes at once。 Nothing had changed—I still could see the dull blue light through
the round hole； I still could not see if Ja