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made me believe he knew what I was thinking—not only did he guess my disfort； but he was
enjoying it。
He winked at me； my crazy friend。 I realized again that this was the best to be expected from human
friendship。
“See you tomorrow； Wanda；” Ian called from across the room； and laughed to himself。
Everyone stared。
CHAPTER 24
Tolerated
It was true that I did not smell good。
I’d lost count of how many days I’d spent here—was it more than a week now？ more than two？—and
all of them sweating into the same clothes I’d worn on my disastrous desert trek。 So much salt had dried
into my cotton shirt that it was creased into rigid accordion wrinkles。 It used to be pale yellow； now it
was a splotchy； diseased…looking print in the same dark purple color as the cave floor。 My short hair was
crunchy and gritty； I could feel it standing out in wild tangles around my head； with a stiff crest on top；
like a cockatoo’s。 I hadn’t seen my face recently； but I imagined it in two shades of purple： cave…dirt
purple and healing…bruise purple。
So I could understand Jeb’s point—yes； I needed a bath。 And a change of clothes as well； to make the
bath worth the effort。 Jeb offered me some of Jamie’s clothes to wear while mine dried； but I didn’t want
to ruin Jamie’s few things by stretching them。 Thankfully； he didn’t try to offer me anything of Jared’s。 I
ended up with an old but clean flannel shirt of Jeb’s that had the sleeves ripped off； and a pair of faded；
holey cutoff sweatpants that had gone unclaimed for months。 These were draped over my arm—and a
bumpy mound of vile…smelling； loosely molded chunks that Jeb claimed was homemade cactus soap was
in my hand—as I followed Jeb to the room with the two rivers。
Again we were not alone； and again I was miserably disappointed that this was the case。 Three men and
one woman—the salt…and…pepper braid—were filling buckets with water from the smaller stream。 A loud
“We’ll just wait our turn；” Jeb told me。
He leaned against the wall。 I stood stiffly beside him； unfortably conscious of the four pairs of eyes
on me； though I kept my own on the dark hot spring rushing by underneath the porous floor。
After a short wait； three women exited the bathing room； their wet hair dripping down the backs of their
shirts—the athletic caramel…skinned woman； a young blonde I didn’t remember seeing before； and
Melanie’s cousin Sharon。 Their laughter stopped abruptly as soon as they caught sight of us。
“Afternoon； ladies；” Jeb said； touching his forehead as if it were the brim of a hat。
“Jeb；” the caramel woman acknowledged dryly。
Sharon and the other girl ignored us。
“Okay； Wanda；” he said when they’d passed。 “It’s all yours。”
I gave him a glum look； then made my way carefully into the black room。
I tried to remember how the floor went—I was sure I had a few feet before the edge of the water。 I
took off my shoes first； so that I could feel for the water with my toes。
It was just so dark。 I remembered the inky appearance of the pool—ripe with suggestions of what might
lurk beneath its opaque surface—and shuddered。 But the longer I waited； the longer I would have to be
here； so I put the clean clothes next to my shoes； kept the smelly soap； and shuffled forward carefully
until I found the lip of the pool。
The water was cool pared to the steamy air of the outer cavern。 It felt nice。 That didn’t keep me
from being terrified； but I could still appreciate the sensation。 It had been a long time since anything had
beencool。 Still fully dressed in my dirty clothes； I waded in waist deep。 I could feel the stream’s current
swirl around my ankles； hugging the rock。 I was glad the water was not stagnant—it would be upsetting
to sully it； filthy as I was； if that were the case。
I crouched down into the ink until I was immersed to my shoulders。 I ran the coarse soap over my
clothes； thinking this would be the easiest way to make sure they were clean。 Where the soap touched
my skin； it burned mildly。
I took off the soapy clothes and scrubbed them under the water。 Then I rinsed them again and again until
there was no way any of my sweat or tears could have survived； wrung them out； and laid them on the
floor beside where I thought my shoes were。
The soap burned more strongly against my bare skin； but the sting was bearable because it meant I
could be clean again。 When I was done lathering； my skin prickled everywhere and my scalp felt scalded。
It seemed as if the places where the bruises had formed were more sensitive than the rest of me—they
must still have been there。 I was happy to put the acidic soap on the rock floor and rinse my body again
and again； the way I had my clothes。
It was with a strange mingling of relief and regret that I sloshed my way out of the pool。 The water was
very pleasant； as was the feeling of clean； if prickling； skin。 But I’d had quite enough of the blindness and
Jeb laughed when I emerged； his eyes were on the soap in my cautious grasp。
“Smarts a bit； don’t it？ We’re trying to fix that。” He held out his hand； protected by the tail of his shirt；
and I placed the soap in it。
I didn’t answer his question because we weren’t alone； there was a line waiting silently behind him—five
people； all of them from the field turning。
Ian was first in line。
“You look better；” he told me； but I couldn’t tell from his tone if he was surprised or annoyed that I did。
He raised one arm； extending his long； pale fingers toward my neck。 I flinched away； and he dropped his
hand quickly。
“Sorry about that；” he muttered。
Did he mean for scaring me now or for marking up my neck in the first place？ I couldn’t imagine that he
was apologizing for trying to kill me。 Surely he still wanted me dead。 But I wasn’t going to ask。 I started
walking； and Jeb fell into step behind me。
“So； today wasn’t that bad；” Jeb said as we walked through the dark corridor。
“Not that bad；” I murmured。 After all； I hadn’t been murdered。 That was always a plus。
“Tomorrow will be even better；” he promised。 “I always enjoy planting—seeing the miracle of the little
dead…looking seeds having so much life in them。 Makes me feel like a withered old guy might have some
potential left in him。 Even if it’s only to be fertilizer。” Jeb laughed at his joke。
When we got to the big garden cavern； Jeb took my elbow and steered me east rather than west。
“Don’t try to tell me you’re not hungry after all that digging；” he said。 “It’s not my job to provide room
service。 You’re just going to have to eat where everyone else eats。”
I grimaced at the floor but let him lead me to the kitchen。
It was a good thing the food was exactly the same thing as always； because if； miraculously； a filet
mignon or a bag of Cheetos had materialized； I wouldn’t have been able to taste a thing。 It took all my
concentration just to make myself swallow—I hated to make even that small sound in the dead silence
that followed my appearance。 The kitchen wasn’t crowded； just ten people l