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and turning away from Pierre。
Prince Andrey gave such a clear and precise utterance to his ideas that it was evident he had thought more than once of this already； and he talked rapidly and eagerly； as a man does who has long been silent。 His eyes grew keener； the more pessimistic were the views he expressed。
“Oh； this is awful； awful！” said Pierre。 “I don’t understand how one can live with such ideas。 I have had moments of thinking like that； it was not long ago at Moscow and on a journey； but then I become so abject that I don’t live at all； everything’s hateful to me … myself； most of all。 Then I don’t eat； I don’t wash … how can you go on？ …”
“Why not wash； that’s not clean；” said Prince Andrey； “on the contrary； one has to try and make one’s life more agreeable as far as one can。 I’m alive； and it’s not my fault that I am； and so I have to try without hurting others to get on as well as I can till death。”
“But what impulse have you to live with such ideas？ You would sit still without stirring； taking no part in anything。…”
“Life won’t leave you in peace even so。 I should be glad to do nothing； but here you see on one side； the local nobility have done me the honour of electing me a marshal； it was all I could do to get out of it。 They could not understand that I haven’t what’s needed； haven’t that good…natured； fussy vulgarity we all know so well； that’s needed for it。 Then there’s this house here； which had to be built that I might have a nook of my own where I could be quiet。 Now there’s the militia。”
“Why aren’t you serving in the army？”
“After Austerlitz！” said Prince Andrey gloomily。 “No； thank you； I swore to myself that I would never serve in the Russian army again。 And I will not； if Bonaparte were stationed here at Smolensk； threatening Bleak Hills！ even then I wouldn’t serve in the Russian army。 Well； so I was saying；” Prince Andrey went on； regaining his composure。 “Now； there’s the militia； my father’s commander…in…chief of the third circuit； and the only means for me to escape from active service is to serve under him。”
“So you are in the service； then？”
“Yes。” He was silent for a while。
“Then why do you serve？”
“I’ll tell you why。 My father is one of the most remarkable men of his time。 But he’s grown old； and he’s not cruel exactly； but he’s of too energetic a character。 He’s terrible from his habit of unlimited power； and now with this authority given him by the Emperor as a commander…in…chief in the militia。 If I had been two hours later a fortnight ago； he would have hanged the register…clerk at Yuhnovo；” said Prince Andrey with a smile。 “So I serve under him now because no one except me has any influence over my father； and I sometimes save him from an act which would be a source of misery to him afterwards。”
“Ah； there you see！”
“Yes； it is not as you think；” Prince Andrey continued。 “I didn’t； and I don’t wish well in the slightest to that scoundrelly register…clerk who had stolen boots or something from the militiamen； indeed； I would have been very glad to see him hanged； but I feel for my father； that is again myself。”
Prince Andrey grew more and more eager。 His eyes glittered feverishly； as he tried to prove to Pierre that there was never the slightest desire to do good to his neighbour in his actions。
“Well； you want to liberate your serfs； too；” he pursued； “that’s a very good thing； but not for you—I expect you have never flogged a man nor sent one to Siberia—and still less for your peasants。 If a peasant is beaten； flogged； sent to Siberia； I dare say he’s not a bit the worse for it。 In Siberia he can lead the same brute existence； the stripes on the body heal； and he’s as happy as before。 But it’s needed for the people who are ruined morally； who are devoured by remorse； who stifle that remorse and grow callous from being able to inflict punishment all round them。 Perhaps you have not seen it； but I have seen good men； brought up in the traditions of unlimited power with years； as they grew more irritable； become cruel and brutal； conscious of it； and unable to control themselves； and growing more and more miserable。”
Prince Andrey spoke with such earnestness that Pierre could not help thinking those ideas were suggested to him by his father。 He made him no reply。
“So that’s what I grieve for—for human dignity； for peace of conscience； for purity； and not for their backs or their heads； which always remain just the same backs and heads； however you thrash or shave them。”
“No； no； a thousand times no！ I shall never agree with you；” said Pierre。
Chapter 12
IN THE EVENING Prince Andrey and Pierre got into the coach and drove to Bleak Hills。 Prince Andrey watched Pierre and broke the silence from time to time with speeches that showed he was in a good humour。
Pointing to the fields； he told him of the improvements he was making in the management of his land。
Pierre preserved a gloomy silence； replying only by monosyllables； and apparently plunged in his own thoughts。
Pierre was reflecting that Prince Andrey was unhappy； that he was in error； that he did not know the true light； and that he ought to come to his aid； enlighten him and lift him up。 But as soon as he began to deliberate on what he would say； he foresaw that Prince Andrey with one word； one argument； would annihilate everything in his doctrine； and he was afraid to begin； afraid of exposing his most cherished and holiest ideas to possible ridicule。
“No； what makes you think so？” Pierre began all at once； lowering his head and looking like a butting bull； “what makes you think so？ You ought not to think so。”
“Think so； about what？” asked Prince Andrey in surprise。
“About life。 About the destination of man。 It can’t be so。 I used to think like that； and I have been saved； do you know by what？—freemasonry。 No； you must not smile。 Freemasonry is not a religious sect； nor mere ceremonial rites； as I used to suppose； freemasonry is the best； the only expression of the highest； eternal aspects of humanity。” And he began expounding to Prince Andrey freemasonry； as he understood it。
He said that freemasonry is the teaching of Christianity； freed from its political and religious fetters； the teaching of equality； fraternity； and love。
“Our holy brotherhood is the only thing that has real meaning in life； all the rest is a dream；” said Pierre。 “You understand； my dear fellow； that outside this brotherhood all is filled with lying and falsehood； and I agree with you that there’s nothing left for an intelligent and good…hearted man but； like you； to get through his life； only trying not to hurt others。 But make our fundamental convictions your own； enter into our brotherhood； give yourself up to us； let us guide you； and you will at once feel yourself； as I felt； a part of a vast； unseen chain； the origin of which is lost in the skies；” said Pierre； looking straight before him。
Prince Andrey listened to Pierre’s words in silence。 Several times he did not catch words from the noise of the wheels； and he asked Pierre to repeat what he had missed。 From the peculiar light that glowed in Prince Andrey’s eyes； and from his si