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is still unwell”； and uttering a few more stock phrases； he got up。 “If you’ll allow me； princess； to leave you my Natasha for a quarter of an hour； I will drive round—only a few steps from here—to Dogs’ Square to see Anna Semyonovna； and then come back for her。”
Count Ilya Andreitch bethought himself of this diplomatic stratagem to give the future sisters…in…law greater freedom to express their feelings to one another （so he told his daughter afterwards）； but also to avoid the possibility of meeting the prince； of whom he was afraid。 He did not tell his daughter this； but Natasha perceived this dread and uneasiness of her father’s； and felt mortified by it。 She blushed for her father； felt still angrier at having blushed； and glanced at the princess with a bold； challenging air； meant to express that she was not afraid of any one。 The princess told the count that she would be delighted； and only begged him to stay a little longer at Anna Semyonovna’s； and Ilya Andreitch departed。
In spite of the uneasy glances flung at her by Princess Marya； who wanted to talk to Natasha by herself； Mademoiselle Bourienne would not leave the room； and persisted in keeping up a conversation about Moscow entertainments and theatres。 Natasha felt offended by the delay in the entry； by her father’s nervousness； and by the constrained manner of the princess； who seemed to her to be making a favour of receiving her。 And then everything displeased her。 She did not like Princess Marya。 She seemed to her very ugly； affected； and frigid。 Natasha suddenly； as it were； shrank into herself； and unconsciously assumed a non…chalant air； which repelled Princess Marya more and more。 After five minutes of irksome and constrained conversation； they heard the sound of slippered feet approaching rapidly。 Princess Marya’s face expressed terror： the door of the room opened； and the prince came in； in a white night…cap and dressing…gown。
“Ah； madam；” he began； “madam； countess。…Countess Rostov… if I’m not mistaken…I beg you to excuse me； to excuse me…I didn’t know； madam。 As God’s above； I didn’t know that you were deigning to visit us； and came in to my daughter in this costume。 I beg you to excuse me…as God’s above； I didn’t know；” he repeated so unnaturally； with emphasis on the word “God；” and so unpleasantly； that Princess Marya rose to her feet with her eyes on the ground； not daring to look either at her father or at Natasha。 Natasha； getting up and curtseying； did not know either what she was to do。 Only Mademoiselle Bourienne smiled agreeably。
“I beg you to excuse me； I beg you to excuse me！ As God’s above； I didn’t know；” muttered the old man； and looking Natasha over from head to foot； he went out。
Mademoiselle Bourienne was the first to recover herself after this apparition； and began talking about the prince’s ill…health。 Natasha and Princess Marya gazed dumbly at one another； and the longer they gazed dumbly at one another without saying what they wanted to say； the more unfavourably each felt disposed to the other。
When the count returned； Natasha showed a discourteous relief at seeing him； and made haste to get away。 At that moment she almost hated that stiff； oldish princess； who could put her in such an awkward position； and spend half an hour with her without saying a word about Prince Andrey。 “I couldn’t be the first to speak of him before that Frenchwoman；” thought Natasha。 Princess Marya meanwhile was tortured by the very same feeling。 She knew what she had to say to Natasha； but she could not do it； both because Mademoiselle Bourienne prevented her； and because she did not know herself why—it was difficult for her to begin to speak of the marriage。 The count was already going out of the room when Princess Marya moved rapidly up to Natasha； took her hand； and； with a heavy sigh； said： “Wait a moment； I want…” Natasha’s expression as she looked at Princess Marya was ironical； though she did not know why。
“Dear Natalie；” said Princess Marya； “do believe how glad I am that my brother has found such happiness…” She paused； feeling she was telling a lie。 Natasha noticed the pause； and guessed the reason of it。
“I imagine； princess； that it is not now suitable to speak of that；” said Natasha； with external dignity and coldness； though she felt the tears rising in her throat。
“What have I said； what have I done？” she thought as soon as she had gone out of the room。
They had to wait a long while for Natasha to come to dinner that day。 She was sitting in her room； crying like a child； choking； and sobbing。 Sonya stood over her； and kept kissing her on the head。
“Natasha； what is it？” she kept saying。 “Why need you mind about them？ It will pass； Natasha。”
“No； if only you knew how insulting it was…as though I…”
“Don’t talk of it； Natasha； it’s not your fault； you see； so what does it matter to you！ Kiss me；” said Sonya。
Natasha raised her head； and kissing her friend on the lips； pressed her wet face against her。
“I can’t say； I don’t know。 It’s no one’s fault；” said Natasha； “it’s my fault。 But it’s all awfully painful。 Oh； why doesn’t he come？…”
She went down to dinner with red eyes。 Marya Dmitryevna； who had heard how the old prince had received the Rostovs； pretended not to notice Natasha’s troubled face； and kept up a loud； jesting conversation at table with the count and the other guests。
Chapter 8
THAT EVENING the Rostovs went to the opera； for which Marya Dmitryevna had obtained them a box。
Natasha had no wish to go； but it was impossible to refuse after Marya Dmitryevna’s kindness； especially as it had been arranged expressly for her。 When she was dressed and waiting for her father in the big hall； she looked at herself in the big looking…glass； and saw that she was looking pretty； very pretty。 She felt even sadder； but it was a sweet and tender sadness。
“My God； if he were only here； I wouldn’t have any stupid shyness of something as I used to； but in quite a new way； simply； I would embrace him； press close to him； force him to look at me with those scrutinising； inquisitive eyes； with which he used so often to look at me； and then I would make him laugh； as he used to laugh then； and his eyes—how I see those eyes！” thought Natasha。 “And what does it matter to me about his father and sister； I love no one but him； him； him； with that face and those eyes； with his smile； manly； and yet childlike。… No； better not think of him； not think； forget； utterly forget him for the time。 I can’t bear this suspense； I shall sob in a minute；” and she turned away from the looking…glass； making an effort not to weep。 “And how can Sonya love Nikolenka so quietly； so calmly； and wait so long and so patiently！” she wondered； looking at Sonya； who came in； dressed for the theatre with a fan in her hand。 “No； she’s utterly different。 I can’t。”
Natasha at that moment felt so softened and moved that to love and know that she was loved was not enough for her： she wanted now； now at once to embrace the man she loved； and to speak and hear from him the words of love； of which her heart was full。 When she was in the carriage sitting beside her father and pensiv