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oo； to fix a time when she might see her again。
After reading the letter； Natasha sat down to the writing…table to answer it。 “Dear princess；” she began； writing rapidly and mechanically in French； and there she stopped。 What more could she write after what had happened the day before？ “Yes； yes； all that had happened； and now everything was different；” she thought； sitting before the letter she had begun。 “Must I refuse him？ Must I really？ That’s awful！…” And to avoid these horrible thoughts； she went in to Sonya； and began looking through embroidery designs with her。
After dinner Natasha went to her own room and took up Princess Marya’s letter again。 “Can everything be over？” she thought。 “Can all this have happened so quickly and have destroyed all that went before？” She recalled in all its past strength her love for Prince Andrey； and at the same time she felt that she loved Kuragin。 She vividly pictured herself the wife of Prince Andrey； of her happiness with him； called up the picture she had so often dwelt on in her imagination； and at the same time； all aglow with emotion； she recalled every detail of her interview the previous evening with Anatole。
“Why could not that be as well？” she wondered sometimes in complete bewilderment。 “It’s only so that I could be perfectly happy： as it is； I have to choose； and without either of them I can’t be happy。 There’s one thing；” she thought； “to tell Prince Andrey what has happened； to hide it from him—are equally impossible。 But with him nothing is spoilt。 But can I part for ever from the happiness of Prince Andrey’s love； which I have been living on for so long？”
“Madame；” whispered a maid； coming into the room with a mysterious air； “a man told me to give you this。” The girl gave her a letter。 “Only for Christ’s sake …” said the girl； as Natasha； without thinking； mechanically broke the seal and began reading a love…letter from Anatole； of which she did not understand a word； but understood only that it was a letter from him； from the man whom she loved。 “Yes； she loved him； otherwise； how could what had happened have happened？ How could a love…letter from him be in her hand？”
With trembling hands Natasha held that passionate love…letter； composed for Anatole by Dolohov； and as she read it； she found in it echoes of all that it seemed to her she was feeling herself。
“Since yesterday evening my fate is sealed： to be loved by you or to die。 There is nothing else left for me；” the letter began。 Then he wrote that he knew her relations would never give her to him； to Anatole； that there were secret reasons for that which he could only reveal to her alone； but that if she loved him； she had but to utter the word Yes； and no human force could hinder their happiness。 Love would conquer all。 He could capture her and bear her away to the ends of the earth。
“Yes； yes； I love him！” thought Natasha； reading the letter over for the twentieth time； and finding some special deep meaning in every word。
That evening Marya Dmitryevna was going to the Arharovs’； and proposed taking the young ladies with her。 Natasha pleaded a headache and stayed at home。
Chapter 15
ON RETURNING LATE in the evening； Sonya went into Natasha’s room； and to her surprise found her not undressed asleep on the sofa。 On the table near her Anatole’s letter lay open。 Sonya picked up the letter and began to read it。
She read it； and looked at Natasha asleep； seeking in her face some explanation of what she had read and not finding it。 Her face was quiet； gentle； and happy。 Clutching at her own chest to keep herself from choking； Sonya； pale and shaking with horror and emotion； sat down in a low chair and burst into tears。
“How was it I saw nothing？ How can it have gone so far？ Can she have ceased loving Prince Andrey？ And how could she have let this Kuragin go as far as this？ He’s a deceiver and a villain； that’s clear。 What will Nikolenka—dear； noble Nikolenka—do when he hears of it？ So that was the meaning of her excited； determined； unnatural face the day before yesterday； and yesterday and to…day；” thought Sonya。 “But it’s impossible that she can care for him！ Most likely she opened the letter not knowing from whom it was。 Most likely she feels insulted by it。 She’s not capable of doing such a thing！”
Sonya dried her tears and went up to Natasha； carefully scrutinising her face again。
“Natasha！” she said； hardly audibly。
Natasha waked up and saw Sonya。
“Ah； you have come back？”
And with the decision and tenderness common at the moment of awakening she embraced her friend。 But noticing embarrassment in Sonya’s face； her face too expressed embarrassment and suspicion。
“Sonya； you have read the letter？” she said。
“Yes；” said Sonya softly。
Natasha smiled ecstatically。
“No； Sonya； I can’t help it！” she said。 “I can’t keep it secret from you any longer。 You know we love each other！ … Sonya； darling； he writes … Sonya …”
Sonya gazed with wide…open eyes at Natasha； as though unable to believe her ears。
“But Bolkonsky？” she said。
“O Sonya； oh； if you could only know how happy I am！” said Natasha。 “You don’t know what love …”
“But； Natasha； you can’t mean that all that is over？”
Natasha looked with her big； wide eyes at Sonya as though not understanding her question。
“Are you breaking it off with Prince Andrey then？” said Sonya。
“Oh； you don’t understand； don’t talk nonsense； listen；” said Natasha； with momentary annoyance。
“No； I can’t believe it；” repeated Sonya。 “I don’t understand it。 What； for a whole year you have been loving one man； and all at once … Why； you have only seen him three times。 Natasha； I can’t believe you； you’re joking。 In three days to forget everything； and like this …”
“Three days；” said Natasha。 “It seems to me as though I had loved him for a hundred years。 It seems to me that I have never loved any one before him。 You can’t understand that。 Sonya； stay； sit here。” Natasha hugged and kissed her。 “I have been told of its happening； and no doubt you have heard of it too； but it’s only now that I have felt such love。 It’s not what I have felt before。 As soon as I saw him； I felt that he was my sovereign and I was his slave； and that I could not help loving him。 Yes； his slave！ Whatever he bids me； I shall do。 You don’t understand that。 What am I to do？ What am I to do； Sonya？” said Natasha； with a blissful and frightened face。
“But only think what you are doing；” said Sonya。 “I can’t leave it like this。 These secret letters … How could you let him go so far as that？” she said； with a horror and aversion she could with difficulty conceal。
“I have told you；” answered Natasha； “that I have no will。 How is it you don’t understand that？ I love him！”
“Then I can’t let it go on like this。 I shall tell about it；” cried Sonya with a burst of tears。
“What … for God’s sake … If you tell； you are my enemy；” said Natasha。 “You want to make me miserable； and you want us to be separated…”
On seeing Natasha’s alarm； Sonya wept tears of shame and pity for her friend。
“But what has passed between you？” she asked。 “What has he said to you？ Why doesn’t he come