按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
more active than ever； but they acted apart from his will。 The most diverse ideas and images had possession of his mind at the same time。 Sometimes his brain suddenly began to work； and with a force； clearness； and depth with which it had never been capable of working in health。 But suddenly the train of thought broke off in the midst； to be replaced by some unexpected image； and the power to go back to it was wanting。 “Yes； a new happiness was revealed to me； that could not be taken away from man；” he thought； as he lay in the still； half…dark hut； gazing before him with feverishly wide； staring eyes。 “Happiness beyond the reach of material forces； outside material； external influences on man； the happiness of the soul alone； the happiness of love！ To feel it is in every man’s power； but God alone can know it and ordain it。 But how did God ordain this law？ Why the Son？ …” And all at once that train of thought broke off； and Prince Andrey heard （not knowing whether in delirium or in actual fact he heard it） a kind of soft； whispering voice； incessantly beating time： “Piti…pitt…piti；” and then “i…ti…ti；” and again； “ipiti…piti…piti；” and again “i…ti…ti。” And to the sound of this murmuring music Prince Andrey felt as though a strange； ethereal edifice of delicate needles or splinters were being raised over his face； over the very middle of it。 He felt that （hard though it was for him） he must studiously preserve his balance that this rising edifice might not fall to pieces； but yet it was falling to pieces； and slowly rising up again to the rhythmic beat of the murmuring music。
“It is stretching out； stretching out； and spreading and stretching out！” Prince Andrey said to himself。 While he listened to the murmur and felt that edifice of needles stretching out； and rising up； Prince Andrey saw by glimpses a red ring of light round the candle； and heard the rustling of the cockroaches and the buzzing of the fly as it flopped against his pillow and his face。 And every time the fly touched his face； it gave him a stinging sensation； but yet it surprised him that though the fly struck him in the very centre of the rising edifice it did not shatter it。 But； apart from all this； there was one other thing of importance。 That was the white thing at the door； that was a statue of the sphinx； which oppressed him too
“But perhaps it is my shirt on the table；” thought Prince Andrey； “and that’s my legs； and that’s the door； but why this straining and moving and piti…piti…piti and ti…ti and piti…piti…piti … Enough； cease； be still； please；” Prince Andrey besought some one wearily。 And all at once thought and feeling floated to the surface again with extraordinary clearness and force。
“Yes； love （he thought again with perfect distinctness）； but not that love that loves for something； to gain something； or because of something； but that love that I felt for the first time； when dying； I saw my enemy and yet loved him。 I knew that feeling of love which is the very essence of the soul； for which no object is needed。 And I know that blissful feeling now too。 To love one’s neighbours； to love one’s enemies。 To love everything—to love God in all His manifestations。 Some one dear to one can be loved with human love； but an enemy can only be loved with divine love。 And that was why I felt such joy when I felt that I loved that man。 What happened to him？ Is he alive？ … Loving with human love； one may pass from love to hatred； but divine love cannot change。 Nothing； not even death； nothing can shatter it。 It is the very nature of the soul。 And how many people I have hated in my life。 And of all people none I have loved and hated more than her。” And he vividly pictured Natasha to himself； not as he had pictured her in the past； only with the charm that had been a joy to him； for the first time he pictured to himself her soul。 And he understood her feeling； her sufferings； her shame； and her penitence。 Now； for the first time； he felt all the cruelty of his abandonment； saw all the cruelty of his rupture with her。 “If it were only possible for me to see her once more … once； looking into those eyes； to say …”
Piti…piti…piti iti…ti； ipiti…piti—boom； the fly flapped … And his attention passed all at once into another world of reality and delirium； in which something peculiar was taking place。 In that place the edifice was still rising； unshattered； something was still stretching out； the candle was still burning； with a red ring round it； the same shirt…sphinx still lay by the door。 But beside all this； something creaked； there was a whiff of fresh air； and a new white sphinx appeared standing before the doorway。 And that sphinx had the white face and shining eyes of that very Natasha he had been dreaming of just now。
“Oh； how wearisome this everlasting delirium is！” thought Prince Andrey； trying to dispel that face from his vision。 But that face stood before him with the face of reality； and that face was coming closer。 Prince Andrey tried to go back to the world of pure thought； but he could not； and he was drawn back into the realm of delirium。 The soft murmuring voice kept up its rhythmic whisper； something was oppressing him； and rising up； and the strange face stood before him。 Prince Andrey rallied all his forces to regain his senses； he stirred a little； and suddenly there was a ringing in his ears and a dimness before his eyes； and like a man sinking under water； he lost consciousness。
When he came to himself； Natasha； the very living Natasha； whom of all people in the world he most longed to love with that new； pure； divine love that had now been revealed to him； was on her knees before him。 He knew that it was the real； living Natasha； and did not wonder； but quietly rejoiced。 Natasha； on her knees； in terror； but without moving （she could not have moved）； gazed at him； restraining her sobs。 Her face was white and rigid。 There was only a sort of quiver in the lower part of it。
Prince Andrey drew a sigh of relief； smiled； and held out his hand。
“You？” he said。 “What happiness！”
With a swift but circumspect movement； Natasha came nearer； still kneeling； and carefully taking his hand she bent her face over it and began kissing it； softly touching it with her lips。
“Forgive me！” she said in a whisper； lifting her head and glancing at him。 “Forgive me！”
“I love you；” said Prince Andrey。
“Forgive …”
“Forgive what？” asked Prince Andrey。
“Forgive me for what I di … id；” Natasha murmured in a hardly audible； broken whisper； and again and again she softly put her lips to his hand。
“I love thee more； better than before；” said Prince Andrey； lifting her face with his hand so that he could look into her eyes。
Those eyes； swimming with happy tears； gazed at him with timid commiseration and joyful love。 Natasha’s thin； pale face； with its swollen lips； was more than ugly—it looked terrible。 But Prince Andrey did not see her face； he saw the shining eyes； which were beautiful。 They heard talk behind them。
Pyotr； the valet； by now wide awake； had waked up the doctor。 Timohin； who had not slept all night for the pain in his leg； had been long watching all that was happening； and huddled up on