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eam;itakemytincanoffthehookandgodowntothemilkwomans。
motherdenisisahalecountrywomanfromsavoy;whichsheleftwhenquiteyoung;and;contrarytothecustomofthesavoyards;shehasnotgonebacktoitagain。shehasneitherhusbandnorchild;notwithstandingthetitletheygiveher;butherkindness;whichneversleeps;makesherworthyofthenameofmother。
abravecreature!leftbyherselfinthebattleoflife;shemakesgoodherhumbleplaceinitbyworking;singing;helpingothers;andleavingtheresttogod。
atthedoorofthemilk…shopihearloudburstsoflaughter。inoneofthecornersoftheshopthreechildrenaresittingontheground。theywearthesootydressofsavoyardboys;andintheirhandstheyholdlargeslicesofbreadandcheese。theyoungestisbesmeareduptotheeyeswithhis;andthatisthereasonoftheirmirth。
motherdenispointsthemouttome。
〃lookatthelittlelambs;howtheyenjoythemselves!〃saidshe;puttingherhandontheheadofthelittleglutton。
〃hehashadnobreakfast;〃putsinoneoftheothersbywayofexcuse。
〃poorlittlething;〃saidthemilkwoman;〃heisleftaloneinthestreetsofparis;wherehecanfindnootherfatherthantheall…goodgod!〃
〃andthatiswhyyoumakeyourselfamothertothem?〃ireplied;gently。
〃whatidoislittleenough;〃saidmotherdenis;measuringoutmymilk;〃buteverydayigetsomeofthemtogetheroutofthestreet;thatforoncetheymayhaveenoughtoeat。dearchildren!theirmotherswillmakeupforitinheaven。nottomentionthattheyrecallmynativemountainstome:whentheysinganddance;iseemtoseeouroldfatheragain。〃
herehereyesfilledwithtears。
〃soyouarerepaidbyyourrecollectionsforthegoodyoudothem?〃
resumedi。
〃yes!yes!〃saidshe;〃andbytheirhappiness;too!thelaughteroftheselittleones;sir;islikeabirdssong;itmakesyougay;andgivesyouhearttolive。〃
asshespokeshecutsomefreshslicesofbreadandcheese;andaddedsomeapplesandahandfulofnutstothem。
〃e;mylittledears;〃shecried;〃puttheseintoyourpocketsagainstto…morrow。〃
then;turningtome:
〃to…dayiamruiningmyself;〃addedshe;〃butwemustallhaveourcarnival。〃
icameawaywithoutsayingaword:iwastoomuchaffected。
atlastihavediscoveredwhattruepleasureis。afterbeholdingtheegotismofsensualityandofintellect;ihavefoundthehappyself…sacrificeofgoodness。pierre;m。antoine;andmotherdenishadallkepttheircarnival;butforthefirsttwo;itwasonlyafeastforthesensesorthemind;whileforthethird;itwasafeastfortheheart。
CHAPTER III
whatwemaylearnbylookingoutofwindow
march3d
apoethassaidthatlifeisthedreamofashadow:hewouldbetterhaveparedittoanightoffever!whatalternatefitsofrestlessnessandsleep!whatdisfort!whatsuddenstarts!whatever…returningthirst!
whatachaosofmournfulandconfusedfancies!wecanneithersleepnorwake;weseekinvainforrepose;andwestopshortonthebrinkofaction。twothirdsofhumanexistencearewastedinhesitation;andthelastthirdinrepenting。
whenisayhumanexistence;imeanmyown!wearesomadethateachofusregardshimselfasthemirrorofthemunity:whatpassesinourmindsinfalliblyseemstousahistoryoftheuniverse。everymanislikethedrunkardwhoreportsanearthquake;becausehefeelshimselfstaggering。
andwhyamiuncertainandrestless鈥斺€攊;apoorday…laborerintheworld鈥斺€攚hofillanobscurestationinacornerofit;andwhoseworkitavailsitselfof;withoutheedingtheworkman?iwilltellyou;myunseenfriend;forwhomtheselinesarewritten;myunknownbrother;onwhomthesolitarycallinsorrow;myimaginaryconfidant;towhomallmonologuesareaddressedandwhoisbuttheshadowofourownconscience。
agreateventhashappenedinmylife!acrossroadhassuddenlyopenedinthemiddleofthemonotonouswayalongwhichiwastravellingquietly;andwithoutthinkingofit。tworoadspresentthemselves;andimustchoosebetweenthem。oneisonlythecontinuationofthatihavefollowedtillnow;theotheriswider;andexhibitswondrousprospects。
onthefirstthereisnothingtofear;butalsolittletohope;ontheotheraregreatdangersandgreatfortune。briefly;thequestionis;whetherishallgiveupthehumbleofficeinwhichithoughttodie;foroneofthoseboldspeculationsinwhichchancealoneisbanker!eversinceyesterdayihaveconsultedwithmyself;ihaveparedthetwoandiremainundecided。
whereshallifindlight鈥斺€攚howilladviseme?
sunday;4th鈥斺€攕eethesuningoutfromthethickfogsofwinter!
springannouncesitsapproach;asoftbreezeskimsovertheroofs;andmywallflowerbeginstoblowagain。
wearenearthatsweetseasonoffreshgreen;ofwhichthepoetsofthesixteenthcenturysangwithsomuchfeeling:
nowthegladsomemonthofmay。
allthingsnewlydotharray;fairestlady;letmetoo。
inthylovemyliferenew。
thechirpingofthesparrowscallsme:theyclaimthecrumbsiscattertothemeverymorning。iopenmywindow;andtheprospectofroofsopensoutbeforemeinallitssplendor。
hewhohaslivedonlyonafirstfloorhasnoideaofthepicturesquevarietyofsuchaview。hehasnevercontemplatedthesetile…coloredheightswhichintersecteachother;hehasnotfollowedwithhiseyesthesegutter…valleys;wherethefreshverdureoftheatticgardenswaves;thedeepshadowswhicheveningspreadsovertheslatedslopes;andthesparklingofwindowswhichthesettingsunhaskindledtoablazeoffire。hehasnotstudiedthefloraofthesealpsofcivilization;carpetedbylichensandmosses;heisnotacquaintedwiththemyriadinhabitantsthatpeoplethem;fromthemicroscopicinsecttothedomesticcat鈥斺€攖hatreynardoftheroofswhoisalwaysontheprowl;orinambush;hehasnotwitnessedthethousandaspectsofaclearoracloudysky;northethousandeffectsoflight;thatmaketheseupperregionsatheatrewithever…changingscenes!howmanytimeshavemydaysofleisurepassedawayincontemplatingthiswonderfulsight;indiscoveringitsdarkerorbrighterepisodes;inseeking;inshort;inthisunknownworldfortheimpressionsoftravelthatwealthytouristslookforlower!
nineoclock鈥斺€攂utwhy;then;havenotmywingedneighborspickedupthecrumbsihavescatteredforthembeforemywindow?iseethemflyaway;eback;perchupontheledgesofthewindows;andchirpatthesightofthefeasttheyareusuallysoreadytodevour!itisnotmypresencethatfrightensthem;ihaveaccustomedthemtoeatoutofmyhand。then;whythisfearfulsuspense?invainilookaround:theroofisclear;thewindowsnearareclosed。icrumblethebreadthatremainsfrommybreakfasttoattractthembyanamplerfeast。theirchirpingsincrease;theybenddowntheirheads;theboldestapproachuponthewing;butwithoutdaringtoalight。
e;e;mysparrowsarethevictimsofoneofthefoolishpanicswhichmakethefundsfallatthebourse!itisplainthatbirdsarenotmorereasonablethanmen!
withthisreflectioniwasabouttoshutmywindow;whensuddenlyiperceived;inaspotofsunshineonmyright;theshadowoftwopricked…upears;thenapawadvanced;thentheheadofatabby…catshoweditselfatthecornerofthegutter。thecunningfellowwaslyingthereinwait;hopingthecrumbswouldbringhimsomegame。
andihadaccusedmyguestsofcowardice!iwassosurethatnodangercouldmenacethem!ithoughtihadlookedwelleverywhere!ihadonlyforgottenthecornerbehindme!
inlife;asontheroofs;howmanymisfortunesefromhavingforgottenasinglecorner!
tenoclock鈥斺€攊cannotleavemywindow;therainandthecoldhavekeptitshutsolongthatimustreconnoitrealltheenvironstobeabletotakepossessionofthemagain。myeyessearchinsuccessionallthepointsofthejumbledandconfusedprospect;passingonorstoppingaccordingtowhattheylightupon。
ah!seethewindowsuponwhichtheyformerlylovedtorest;theyarethoseoftwounknownneighbors;whosedifferenthabitstheyhavelongremarked。
oneisapoorwork…woman;whorisesbeforesunrise;andwhoseprofileisshadoweduponherlittlemuslinwindow…curtainfarintotheevening;theotherisayoungsongstress;whosevocalflouri